


Never Going Back

by HyphyManatee



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Daryl Dixon/Reader - Freeform, F/M, daryl dixon - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 19:18:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16859824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyphyManatee/pseuds/HyphyManatee
Summary: Warnings: Language, violence, alcohol consumption, angst, mention of drug dealing, toxic relationshipWord Count: 4,502





	Never Going Back

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language, violence, alcohol consumption, angst, mention of drug dealing, toxic relationship
> 
> Word Count: 4,502

“Screw you, Charlie!” You yelled as you threw your empty glass of whiskey at your boyfriend of seven years. “I’m done with your fucking bullshit!”

“You crazy bitch!” He yelled back at you. He walked closer to you and you stood your ground. Crossing your arms, you focused your angry, Y/E/C on his dark brown ones. You could see the fire burning inside him. “I’ve done so much for you!”

“You consider cheating on me for years doing something for me?!” You reached up and brought your hand across his face as hard as you could. “You’re a fucking prick! And a pussy! You’d be dead if it wasn’t for me! I’m the one that has kept us alive all these years!” 

It’s true. Charlie was shit at surviving in this day and age. It’s a wonder he’s even made it to Alexandria. You were always the one killing walkers, hunting, finding food. Your dad taught you when you were young how to live off the land and survive. Charlie was a little priss. You met him in California. He drove a Maserati that his parents bought for him. He had was covered in tattoos and always wore edgy clothing. He was the definition of a fuck boy, but for some reason, you loved dating trash. 

The first two years you spent with him were great. Granted, you were in high school. Everything went south after that. The two of you broke up for a year, though staying in close contact. You got back together when the apocalypse broke out. You both flew out to be with your families, who both happened to live in Virginia. You’ve been together for the last four and half years. The two of you escaped from Terminus with a group of people and you’ve been with them ever since. They have become your family.

“Oh fucking really!” Charlie screamed. “I take care of you! I gave you a house! A car! Everything you ever wanted!”

He asked you to move in with him, in his large condo in downtown L.A. He did buy you a car, an Audi to be exact. You really didn’t have to work much. He came from money. But thats all he offered. He was never listening to you. He slept with a countless amount of other women, he never hit you but he did say a lot of hurtful things. He always held it against you that he provided for you, which you needed, coming from a lower income family. But he was a horrible boyfriend. He was a very successful chef for a really nice restaurant in California in the old world, but those skills hadn’t really come in handy until you got to Alexandria. He was also a very successful drug dealer, which ended up putting you in multiple life threatening situations, which he always pussied out on, leaving you to fend for yourself against multiple attempted assaults and kidnappings. Good thing you knew how to fight. He became useless as soon as the world ended. You’d been taking care of him all these years. 

It had been you and him for so long. You were used to him and you settled for him, especially since the world ended, you accepted he would be your forever. But ever since you had been with this group, you took a particular liking to a man named Daryl Dixon. He had a cross bow like the one your dad used to have and you were infatuated with it. He was usually standoffish and short with people but he seemed to relax around you a bit. You even got him to laugh a few times. Something about him gave you butterflies. You took any opportunity to go on a run with him. Rick wouldn’t let Charlie go on runs. Instead, he usually made the food since he was a professional chef. You were thankful for this because you were sick of taking care of him beyond the walls. He hated it though. He was hard-headed. He thought he should be the one going out there. Instead of watching his girlfriend ride off on the back of some redneck’s bike.

“But you didn’t give me a boyfriend! Or a best friend! You practically just paid me to be your girlfriend! I actually loved you! All you wanted was a hot piece of ass to show off while you showed off your nice car and house and money!” You could feel your eyes beginning to swell as you thought about how you wasted seven years on this pathetic excuse of a man. “And none of that shit even means anything anymore! Have you ever thought to yourself what I’ve done for you these past years?! Protecting you, providing for you, making sure you are okay because you were never able to do it for yourself in this world or the last!”

This particular fight started because of you always going on runs with Daryl. But you never did anything with Daryl. Except enjoy his company, and wrap your arms tightly around him as you rode on the back of his bike, and very lightly ran your finger across the fabric of his shirt, just hard enough for him to feel it underneath. 

He looked at you with anger in his eyes but he stayed silent, knowing you were right. “You never really loved me, did you Charlie?” You asked him, knowing the answer but wishing it weren’t true. He always said he loved you but he’d never look you in the eyes. Even though you were so in love with him all these years, he never knew what love was.

“Of course I love you!” He said, but his face softened and he once again turned his gaze away from you. He never meant it. He lusted for you, everyone did, you were gorgeous. It made him so angry to see you with someone else. But he didn’t love you. 

You stared at him with hurt in your eyes. You were done with him. You looked away and headed down the hallway to the room you shared with him. You grabbed your back pack and your duffle bag. You began shoving all your clothes and belongings into the bags.

“What are you doing?” Charlie asked, appearing in the door way as you tried to pack up as quickly as possible. You threatened to leave many times but you always came back. This time you were serious. You could die any day. You weren’t going to spend the rest of your life unhappy while Charlie continued to neglect you and cheat on you in your new community.

“I’m fucking leaving Charlie!” You yelled at him. “And this time I’m not coming back!” You shoved the rest of your stuff in the bag and zipped it up. You pushed past him as you headed out of the room and towards the front door.

“Bullshit,” He chuckled as he hollered after you. “You always come back!” 

You flipped him your middle finger, “Maybe you can invite Rosita to come live with you! Just remember you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife!” You yelled before walking out of the door and slamming it behind you.

You had no where to go, but you refused to go back to Charlie. You were strong in every other aspect of life. You had to be strong in this part too. You walked all the way across the community to the back corner of the walls. You enjoyed this spot because there were trees and you could hide and enjoy the privacy. Luckily, it was summer time so it would be warm all night. You could sleep outside. You didn’t want to bother Rick with helping you find a new place to stay, besides, you liked camping. You had taken everything you owned from your house. Including your sleeping bag and favorite pillow.

You sat on the ground and leaned up against a big tree. You took a cigarette out of your pocket and lit it up. You used to never smoke. Another filthy habit you got into as you continued to stay with Charlie. 

“Ya okay?” You jumped at the sound of someones voice emerging from the trees. Nobody else seems to ever be here so you weren’t used to company sneaking up on you. You quickly relaxed when you saw that it was Daryl.

You lit your cigarette before answering his question, as he now stood above you. “Yeah, I’m great!” You said so sarcastically it actually sounded rude. “How are you, Daryl?” You asked him. 

“You don’t gotta lie Y/N,” He said to you. You gave him your best confused look. “I heard ya fightin’ with Charlie. I was by the lake. Ya’ll’s window was open…” He told you shyly. 

You looked back down to your feet. “Yeah, he’s a prick.” You admitted quietly. 

“He don’t deserve ya.” Daryl said as he sat a couple feet away from you, not wanting to cross any boundaries. You cocked your head to the side and looked up to meet his eyes. You studied his face and he looked down quickly, not wanting to make eye contact for too long. 

You turned your gaze back in front of you as all the emotions you had bottled up began to spill out of you. You were unable to stop yourself from letting out a loud whimper as tears began to spill from your eyes. You ducked your head down to hide your face but you were unable to control the sobs escaping from deep in your lungs.

“Hey…Hey, I’m sorry!” Daryl said as he moved closer to you. “I didn’t mean ta make ya cry!”

“It’s not your fault, Dixon.” You told him as you tried to catch your breath. “Just haven’t cried in years. Not since my family died. I always knew Charlie didn’t love me but I guess it’s just now hitting me. I never wanted to believe it.” You tried your best to collect yourself, but did not meet Daryl’s eyes. “I don’t know why I didn’t leave him sooner. All he does is stick his dick in other bitches and lie. I’ve been taking care of his ass for the last five years. I was just so used to him. Too scared to leave I guess. Plus now where do I really have to run off to?” You were calming down but still numb from your mind racing back to all the wasted time with him.

Daryl sat for a moment, unsure of what to say or how to help you. “Ya gotta place to stay?” He asked curiously.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I dig it here, was just gonna set up the hammock and some blankets.” You said as you motioned towards your stuff. You hadn’t really thought about what you were going to do. You were going to get eaten alive by mosquitos but you enjoyed sleeping outside and watching the fireflies as you fell asleep.

“Well..” Daryl began, “I live alone, got a spare room. You could stay with me…if ya want.” He offered shyly. You looked up to meet his eyes. They were hopeful. 

“You don’t have to, Daryl…I’m used to camping.” You chuckled.

“Then can I camp with ya?” He asked innocently. You snapped your head in his direction, not expecting his question. “Sorry…” He said, looking down to the ground. 

“Don’t be sorry,” You told him. “I’d love your company. But I don’t want you to be eaten alive my the mosquitos. That shit fucking sucks.” You giggled. 

“You don’t need to deal with that either,” he said. “You can take my whole house of ya want. I can stay at Rick’s.” He seemed like he genuinely wanted to help you. 

You looked back up at him. “You don’t gotta leave your house Daryl. I’ll come stay if you really want me to. Just tell I figure stuff out. I won’t be in your hair for too long.”

“I don’t mind. It gets kinda lonely there. And I’d rather live with you than most of these people.” Daryl said as he gave you a small smile. 

You gave him an innocent innocent. It was almost dark now. The two of you had been talking the whole time the sun was setting. “Okay, let’s go!” You said as you stood to your feet. “I gotta bottle of whiskey in my bag. We can have a little housewarming party!” You said playfully as you skipped past him towards the houses. 

“Sounds perfect.” Daryl said under his breath as he followed you to the house.

Your hair was still dripping from your shower. You had on nothing but a tight fitting tank top and curve hugging booty shorts. It was too hot to wear anything else. As much as you wanted to wear absolutely nothing, you didn’t want to alarm your new roommate.

You danced in to the living room with your whiskey and two glasses. You set them down on the coffee table and popped open the lid to the bottle without saying a word. After pouring two drinks, you handed one to Daryl and held yours up to cheers him. “To new beginnings!…And new roomates.” The smile on your face grew bigger as Daryl touched his glass to yours.

You both threw your drink back and you poured another. After a few more sips of your drink, you finally began to relax. The anger and sadness you felt towards Charlie began to fade away and those emotions were now replaced by giddiness and curiosity. You couldn’t stop thinking about the man sitting beside you on the couch. There was something so satisfying about watching him move. You could tell he was slightly nervous and unsure of what to say. He threw back another shot of whiskey before finally speaking to you.

“The room okay?” He asked softly.

You nodded your head slightly, “It’s great. Thank you for letting me crash here for a few days.”

“Stay as long as ya need.” He said softly. “You can stay permanently…if ya want. I don’t need this house all to myself. Too big.”

“You might be the only person ever to not want this awesome house all to yourself.” You chuckled as you looked around the room. The house was amazing, one of the nicest houses in the community. Rick didn’t give Daryl a roommate, knowing that he liked to be alone, and not many wanted to share a house with a dirty redneck. But you did.

Daryl remained silent as you stared at him for a few moments. His leg was shaking slightly as he took another drink of whiskey. “Why me?” You asked softly but your voice full of curiosity. 

“Wha?” Daryl asked confused as he turned to meet your eyes.

“Earlier…” you began as you sat your glass down on the table and leaned closer to him. “You told me you would rather live with me over all the others. I know that Rick put you in this house by yourself because you like to be alone.” You couldn’t take your eyes off of his bare arms. What he lacked in tattoos, he made up for in muscles. Something Charlie didn’t have any of. “I haven’t even been a part of your group for that long, so…why me?” Your stomach began to tighten as you waited for him to answer your question.

Daryl took his bottom lip between his teeth and thought about it for a few moments. “Dunno…” He admitted, finally. “Ya aren’t like the others. Ya mind yer own business, yer good outside the walls, strong…” he trailed off, slightly uncomfortable. “Hellavalot better to look at than the rest of em.” You both chuckled slightly.

“I wish Charlie thought that.” You looked down at your hands as you thought about Charlie for the first time in a few hours. “He’s bangin’ that Rosita chick now.” You laughed sadly. 

“He don’t deserve ya, Y/N.” Daryl said quietly.

“I know it. I’ve just been with him for so long, I didn’t know how to leave. I was the only one who ever made an effort in the relationship. All he did was buy me shit and cheat on me. I don’t know why I stuck around for so long. I guess when the world ended, and our families got killed, he was all I had left, so I just stuck with him.” You didn’t feel sad anymore. You felt relieved. Relieved to be in a new environment without him around. “I’m kind of happy that it’s over to be honest.”

“Ya got us now. Ya got me. Ya don’t need that asshole.” Daryl told you sternly. You could tell his anger was directed towards Charlie. You were slightly turned on by the tone of his voice. You smiled at him as he turned to meet your eyes. He quickly turned back to stare out the living room window, you were making him nervous again.

“Have I ever told you how handsome you are Dixon?” You asked playfully, biting your lip. Daryl looked down, allowing his long hair to hide his red face and the smile he was trying to hold back. 

You woke up to the sound of yelling outside. “What the fuck…” You groaned as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and instantly felt the pounding in your head. 

The sun burned as you tried to take in your surroundings. Empty bottle of whiskey. Cigarette butts in the ash tray. Daryl. Couch. Living room. Wait, Daryl. You thought to yourself as realized you and Daryl had both fallen asleep on the couch. You both faced a different end of the couch but your legs were intertwined. One of his hands rested on your calf and the other rested on your thigh, dangerously close to your ass. 

Daryl began to stir as you tried to sit up. “Shit! Sorry!” Daryl said when he realized he was touching your bare thighs. 

“It’s fine, don’t trip.” You told him, flashing him a smile. He was slightly confused by your choice of words but he learned to understand your west coast lingo more and more throughout the last few months. “Did you hear that?” You asked him as you listened closely for the voices outside.

They started up again and you could make out Rick and Carl’s voices….and…Charlie… 

“Fuck!” You whispered loudly. 

“What’s wrong?” Daryl asked as he sat up further. 

“Charlie. He’s outside….” You said nervously. Any time you had left him before you would always come home that night or the morning after. You glanced over to the clock hanging on the wall, 2 pm. 

Of course he would expect you to come back once again. He knew you better than anyone. But now, you weren’t drunk anymore, hungover yes, but not drunk. You didn’t want to go back sober, drunk, or hungover. And even though you were stressed about what you were about to deal with, you still felt butterflies in your stomach after cuddling with Daryl Dixon all night.

“The fuck’s he doin’ here?” Daryl asked as he stood from the couch.

“I usually always come back every time I leave. This time I didn’t. Because I really don’t want to. I want to be done with him. Forever. I want to stay here.” You said as you slowly stood from the couch. Your head hurt and you felt like you were going to be sick. You covered your mouth with your hand as you gagged slightly and quickly ran to the sink in the kitchen. You had drank way more whiskey than you planned last night and now you were seeing it all again as it all drained from your body. 

You stood leaning over the sink for a moment as you tried to catch your breath. You felt Daryl’s warm hand on your back as he brushed over your skin lightly. “Sorry…” You managed to choke out.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said as he swept your hair off your neck. “Here, drink this.” He said and handed you a bottle of water.

After chugging your water you looked up to meet Daryl’s eyes. “Thank you.” You told him as you looked to the floor. You could feel your cheeks burn red with embarrassment. The yelling outside got louder and you both turned to look at the door. 

“I’m gonna fuck that kid up.” Daryl said as he began to push past you towards the door. 

“You don’t have to do that. Really.” You told him as you tried to hold him back. “I’ll tell him to leave me alone, okay? It’s fine.” You started walking towards the door, you could feel Daryl trailing closely behind you. You swung it open and walked out onto the porch.

“The fuck do you want Charlie?” You asked as you crossed your arms across your chest. The group stopped arguing and turned to look at you. Charlie, Rick, Carl, Michonne, and Rosita. Rosita. The bitch that Charlie had most recently cheated on you with. Why the fuck was she here. You felt a slight anger rise in your stomach at the site of her, but you could feel Daryl’s presence close behind you which helped you calm down.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Charlie asked as he took in the sight of you. You forgot that you were wearing quite a revealing outfit. Daryl stood beside you with no shoes on and his shirt half unbuttoned. You quickly realized what it looked like to the others and it brought a smile to your face. You tried to hold it back but it was impossible. “You fuckin’ this hillbilly?!” Charlie yelled as he walked towards up the path to the front door. Rick followed him, grabbing him to hold him back. Daryl stepped in front of you. 

You lightly touched Daryl’s arm and pulled him behind you as you walked down the steps with your bare feet. The air felt nice. It wasn’t to hot and there was a slight breeze. Just enough to make your nipples hard. You had perfect tits and you knew that Charlie was weak for you right now. You spared a glance at Rosita who was glaring at you with her arms crossed. Obviously mad that Charlie still cared for you.

You ran your tongue over your bottom lip as you stood a foot away from your ex boyfriend. You looked up to meet his jealousy filled eyes. With a smirk on your face you whispered, “So what if I am?”

“You fucking whore!” Charlie screamed at you as he tried to lunge towards you, but Rick caught him in time, Carl running up to help hold him back. 

You felt Daryl’s arm wrap around your waist as he pulled you to the side. “The fuck did ya just say to her?!” He yelled in Charlie’s face. You could see Charlie begin to cower as he was overpowered by the three men. 

“She’s a whore…” Charlie said softly but sternly. He even held eye contact with Daryl. This was the first time you had ever seen him try to be any ounce of a man. But it didn’t last for long when Daryl brought his fist down on to Charlie’s face, leaving a gash on his cheek.

“I’m the fucking whore?!” You yelled as you tackled him out of Rick and Carl’s grasp to the ground. You sat on top of him as you brought your fists down onto his face as hard and as fast as you could. “You’re the one who has cheated on me for the past seven years! I was loyal to you! Even in the apocalypse you find whores to fuck while I take care of the both of us!” You could feel the tears begin to form in your eyes but they quickly disappeared when you felt yourself being pulled to the side by your hair. You were flung to the ground and you looked up to see Rosita standing over you. She threw her fist at you, hitting you hard in the jaw. 

“Don’t touch him you dumb bitch!” She yelled at you as she brought her other fist across your face. She was quickly lifted off of you by Rick and Daryl came to your side to help you up. You couldn’t help but smile as you stood to your feet and wiped the small drop of blood from your lip. 

After a few moments, Charlie was back on his feet, blood gushing from his nose you had just broken. Rick and Daryl let go of you and Rosita. “Is this done now?!” Carl yelled as you all exchanged a glance.

You slowly stepped towards Rosita, laughing a little as your head hung low. Once you stood about a foot from her, you turned your gaze up to meet hers. She was breathing heavy with an angry expression on her face. You smiled a sinister smile and licked your lips. “Fuck no.” You whispered before decking her in the side of the face with all your strength. She fell to the ground, almost completely unconscious. You leaned over and grabbed her by her shirt, pulling her up to meet your eyes. “That pussy over there,” you began as you nodded in Charlie’s direction. “You can have his bitch ass. I don’t want him. But if you EVER touch me again, I will slit your throat.” You smiled slightly. “Same goes for you Charlie.” You said as you looked in his direction. Your eyes grew dark and you could see the fear in both their eyes. You turned you gaze back to Rosita. “Fucking slut.” You said as you pushed her back to the ground.

You turned to look at Daryl. He had a shocked look on his face. “Sorry..” You said shyly as you walked closer to him. You didn’t want him to see that side of you. You looked down to the ground but turned your eyes back up to meet his. He shook his head quickly and pulled you close to him, pressing his lips firmly against yours. 

“Jesus Christ.” You heard Rick say from behind you. You and Daryl pulled away from each other. Rick was trying to hold back his smile of amusement at the whole situation. “You two, come with me.” Rick said as he gestured toward Charlie and Rosita. He helped Rosita to her feet. Charlie glared at you as he followed the sheriff down the street. You drug your thumb across your throat, indicating that you’d kill him if he ever came near you again. You could see the fear and hurt in his eyes and you got off on it.

“Come on,” you said playfully as your eyes softened to meet Daryl’s. “I wanna see your room.” You winked at him as you turned to run towards the house, pulling him along behind you.


End file.
